My Incoherent Thoughts on Ramy

I just finished the first two seasons of Ramy and I have...thoughts. Forewarning, a lot of this is going to be venting and/or rambling, but writing this all out will help me gather my thoughts. So bare with me.

Before We Begin: 

Just a little bit of background, if you have read from my previous posts about Ramadan, I'm a practicing Muslim and have been born into an Indian (people call it South Asian now) family. I strive to adhere to my religion and I'm definitely proud of it. I struggle to strike a balance of what it means to be a "good" Muslim with trying to navigate the western culture. My parents were immigrants and sacrificed so much so that their kids could go to good schools and get good educations. Something I will never truly be able to pay back. Ever.

I know what it is like being a Muslim in America. Even though I was born here, there are times where I don't feel like I am really from here. I know my religion makes me the other. However, my goal is to be proud of it and to be okay with knowing I won't be able to fully assimilate into Western culture. Rather than be part of the ant colony, I strive to feel okay with my own  little anthill. I'm okay with making my own small dent in the world. As long as I strive to please God, I can die a happy man.

Also one last thing about me, somewhat paradoxically,  I've always fantasized about becoming an actor. Most people probably have had this dream at some point in their lives just so they could have  their fifteen minutes of fame. Well in high school and college, I joined an improv troupe and tried to make amateur movies with my friends. Heck, even a few years ago, a friend and I tried to start a YouTube channel. So, the fact that the Muslims narrative is on the verge of a breakout in the Western mainstream means a lot to me. Of course I never really did anything with acting after I graduated. 

Ramy:

Now enters Ramy. A show about a man trying to reconcile his faith within the Western world. Ramy is no saint, he is a man with many struggles-mainly with sex. He has a lot of sex. In fact every episode in the first season delves into him or a cast member engaging in some sort of sexual activity. While I understand sex is a big taboo in our religion (which makes for interesting drama), something about the first season's conversation with it rubbed me the wrong way. 

(Spoilers ahead for both seasons)

The first season is about how Ramy's sexual addiction is a big Islamic no-no, he knows what he is doing is wrong, but he wants to make amends. He fasts during Ramadan, he cleans a masjid (mosque) very thoroughly, and even tries to go to Egypt to see if he can find an Islamic cure to his problem. While in Egypt, he realizes that Western imperialism has invaded the middle eastern world and now his extended family don't go to masajid (mosques) or pray or any of that stuff. They go to clubs and get drunk more than the people back in the States. While escaping a nightclub with his cousin, she takes him to a Sufi circle and he finds himself drawn into the religious experience. You could say that he might have "found" himself. But then he sleeps with his female cousin. 

The second season picks up with Ramy returning back to New Jersey and missing his cousin or maybe just realizing how messed up his life is. He knows what he did was wrong and wants to figure out how to get better (queue the Bleachers). Oh, instead of having sex with every female cast member in the show now, he watches porn instead. He has such a bad addiction that he watches it everywhere. It takes his father's boss's father to walk in on Ramy in the bathroom and pull a gun on him to make Ramy realize he needs help. He goes to his local imam but he doesn't want to deal with him. "We don't talk about that stuff here! Go fast and pray and leave me alone!" So he gets word of a Sufi masjid that he could go to. There he meets an imam played Mahershala Ali. This is the imam that makes Ramy feel like he can become a good Muslim and so they form a bond. Ramy tries to learn how to be a real Muslim starts to get his life on track. A bunch of other stuff happens (he friggin' gets married), but the season ends the way it begins with Ramy alone and having to figure out another way to become a better Muslim.

Ramy does lay on the Islamic content pretty well, though. It mentions Hadiths (traditions) from our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), ayats from the Qu'ran are mentioned or referenced, and the show even refers to some of the pillars of our faith as well (Fasting and Hajj are discussed in some capacity). But all of this seems to be bastardized. It's like someone who is honestly trying to sing but just has a terrible voice. The intention is there, but the execution is all there. It got me questioning a lot of things about Ramy and his show. So I started to obsess over it. Is this really how the show is supposed to be. The Muslims big foray into the mainstream...and we got this?

I watched a two hour interview (https://www.youtube.com/watch?vjQP7sR4bHk4) with Ramy where he talked about the first season of the show and how he says it should be taken less as a show about religion and more about a man's personal journey to his religion. He mentions he doesn't want to make fun of the religion either, so he doesn't try to put in comic imams or try to make fun of prayer. He says he wants to only do what he knows and nothing else. he also emphasizes that there are only ten episodes to get his message across (i.e. a very limited amount of time).so then why does he have episodes exclusively dedicated to his parents and sister when it's not really something he probably knows (unless he was Lyft driver or was a parent to first generation immigrants)? Why not use the extra three episodes to help cover more issues Ramy might be dealing with? 

Ramy certainly doesn't try to make fun of his religion...in the first season, instead he tries to spotlight the pitfalls of just trying to use religion as a crutch. Fasting and praying aren't going to change you unless you are ready to change yourself. This is a good lesson to learn except that every sexual encounter Ramy has in the first season is portrayed in a way to absolve him of instigation. It's like he is trying to show that he cannot change because he's a chick magnet. If you watch each episode you can totally tell that each woman came onto Ramy which I found odd and disturbing. Every girl seems to be repressed and within the first couple of hours of meeting Ramy, they must be on top of him. It's the disturbing male fantasy we always see time and time again (that's as feminist as I get btw). I guess they are supposed to be ridiculous situations, but they don't generate humor, it generates disgust. Something about it makes me feel like there is no sense of self worth in the show. Ramy isn't just a Muslim who makes mistakes, he's a Muslim who seems to be desecrating his religion in the public eye. Like I've said before, I'm a Muslim who struggles to keep on the straight and narrow and this show is just too sad to watch.  I just kept thinking during the first season, "will non-Muslims think that all Muslims act like this? Is it really time for the Muslim community ills to be shown in front of world when we barely got out of the cross-hairs of American media?"

The best character on the show and he ain't even Muslim in real life

Ramy's friends seem to symbolize the different perspectives Ramy has had a person. I can only imagine that each one of his friends sit on some sort of spectrum in Ramy's head in terms of piousness. I only surmise this because it doesn't feel like any of them would technically be best friends in real life. But there is one person in the show I found as a relatable voice. The only character I really thought "represented" a Muslim character was his friend Ahmed. But most of the time he has no depth. He's a goof that is a stereotypical doctor and lives a non-dramatic life. He's just the preachy guy telling Ramy not to do Haram things.  Despite him playing a weak and minor role, there is one particular part in season 2 where Ahmed shines. Ahmed and Ramy are talking in a strip club bathroom. In the conversation, Ahmed rips apart Ramy for dragging him to such a filthy place. Ramy asks why he even came in the first place and Ahmed snaps back at Ramy for doing the same. Ahmed points out that he came because he loves Ramy so much  that he keeps praying for him instead of refugees and poor people. But then he feels guilty for not praying for them so he ends up trying to pray for them but then feels guilty for not praying for Ramy. It's probably one of the funnier and more meaningful conversations that happen in the second season. It's interesting because it's one of the parts of the show that not only rips apart Ramy in character, but rips him apart in real life. It brings up the question, "Why are you doing this?" I wish Ahmed had more screen time. 

And that's the thing, why is Ramy making a show like this? He's all over the place in interviews. In some places he takes pride that he's the first Muslims sitcom, other times he tries to side step that topic. He mentions it's a personal journey of faith and self-realization, but the season has episodes that explore other characters exclusively making me wonder if they were put in for broader appeal. Why not make the season eight episodes like Stranger Things rather than 10? Despite studio oversight, Ramy insists that he has all the creative control. If he knows that is wrong about himself why is he doing the same on screen? 

Okay, Let's Calm Down:

I know I've rambled but each time I think about this show I find some other glaring issue I haven't thought about. I've realized I ask too much for shows like these. I should be glad that these shows exist. And in some respects, I do. But not like this. 

And I haven't even got to the other layer. The controversy of Muslims in Hollywood. Actors have to be flexible to directors and producers and must bend over backwards to do anything to be successful. Ramy seems to be okay enacting the same ills  that he is trying to draw attention to in the Muslim community. He (as an actor) doesn't mind letting girls grind in his lap or kissing them either. And if you have to compromise the religion to sell the message, did you really do it the right way? Islam's message requires purity to convey, we all have our faults but we still try to keep it to higher standard when we talk about it. There are more creative ways to show what doesn't need to be shown (if needed). 

Yes, I understand the reality of the religion is different. There are a lot of Muslims out there that don't practice or pray and do drink and such, but showing that doesn't just make the show relatable, it also condones the practice. It doesn't matter if Ramy's actions get him into trouble, just the idea that Ramy exists is enough to make him a role model to a lot of people. Since there aren't a lot of Egyptian Muslim protagonist on TV, I could easily see people latching on to the show. 

Solution:

It's easy to tell I'm frustrated about the show. But I have done a lot of thinking and the solution to address this is to ride the wave. Be the change as they would say. If I don't like what I see, maybe I should make something myself that matches what I preach. Even if I am unsuccessful in promoting it or executing it, at least I can say that I'm trying. 

There was an interview in which Ramy said the inspiration for this Ramadan episode was that he saw the Ramadan episode in Aziz Ansari's Master of None and found that it didn't vibe with him. The entire show of Ramy doesn't vibe with me. I want a better representation of Islam in media. I don't want something where I have to show things that I wouldn't want to see on TV. 

I don't want Fox News saying we're terrorists. I don't want to be discriminated against at the airport or by cops or, heaven forbid, the FBI. I don't want us to be cast exclusively as villains in movies. I also don't want liberal Muslims who think our religion is equivalent to a  race (it's a religion, we choose to follow it), and I don't want random people showcasing their interpretation of what the right Islam is. Whether it's intentional or not. 

I want characters who are Muslim. Who can be in wholesome shows that still can have powerful messages.

*sigh*

These may be empty words, but I'm gonna write something.