A Letter To Vilehands
Well, It's been about a month now since the Magicka has been out. I have been pretty much obsessed with that game until I finally beat it with my friends Josh and Steve. It was relatively easy beating it in co-op, but I would see almost damn near impossible to beat it single player unless you used the invisible spell a billion times in chapter 11 (those damn yetis...kill me in one hit every time!) Well, in celebration, I would like to write an apology to one of the first people I played Magicka, an anonymous person named Vilehands. He put up me and Steve while we messed around (usually killing each other, as well as Vilehands) and caused many game overs. Here goes.
Dear Mr. Vilehand(s),
I'm sorry. I know you really wanted to play the game for real. But when you massacred all the wizards in the castle (during our OWN party, for crissake), Steve and I thought you were in the same joking mood we were in. Yes, soon after we learned the first few spells, we began dissembling everyone on our team. Some people would call us sadists, but what else was I to do? I found a really cool staff and Steve killed me for it! I had to make him pay. And well, I'm sorry that you had to too. But you shouldn't have gotten in the way! And I'm sorry about those times I accidentally crossed my arcane beam while you were healing Steve, I didn't know it would cause a huge explosion! And yes, at the time, I just figured out the benefits of Area of Effect spells. When I found out I didn't hurt myself with it, I...well...used it too much.
I've gotten a lot better now though! I am totally aware of my surroundings and don't haste myself and run off cliffs. And I'm not so much of a butterfingers as I was before! I won't "accidentally" hold shift and kill you instead of the enemy half way across the screen. I swear I got better! I just needed a lot of practice. I mean eight keys to remember isn't too bad, but why did they have to shield and heal next to each other? And why did they think it wise for me to shield myself from healing? Is there ever a point in the game where healing is a bad thing to do? I don't know. I'm sorry Vilehands. I guess I'm just not a good gamer. But to tell you the truth, you didn't have to rejoin us after the game disconnected. And it kinda sucked because Steve and I were skyping while you had no idea what were saying. Steve considered you as collateral, so I guess that's why you died so many times. I'm sure you were super frustrated, but in the end, wasn't the game just a bunch of fun?
I'm sure you'll look back at this and laugh someday...someday....Vilehand...s.....
-Sincerely,
DamnYouSteve
Dear Mr. Vilehand(s),
I'm sorry. I know you really wanted to play the game for real. But when you massacred all the wizards in the castle (during our OWN party, for crissake), Steve and I thought you were in the same joking mood we were in. Yes, soon after we learned the first few spells, we began dissembling everyone on our team. Some people would call us sadists, but what else was I to do? I found a really cool staff and Steve killed me for it! I had to make him pay. And well, I'm sorry that you had to too. But you shouldn't have gotten in the way! And I'm sorry about those times I accidentally crossed my arcane beam while you were healing Steve, I didn't know it would cause a huge explosion! And yes, at the time, I just figured out the benefits of Area of Effect spells. When I found out I didn't hurt myself with it, I...well...used it too much.
I've gotten a lot better now though! I am totally aware of my surroundings and don't haste myself and run off cliffs. And I'm not so much of a butterfingers as I was before! I won't "accidentally" hold shift and kill you instead of the enemy half way across the screen. I swear I got better! I just needed a lot of practice. I mean eight keys to remember isn't too bad, but why did they have to shield and heal next to each other? And why did they think it wise for me to shield myself from healing? Is there ever a point in the game where healing is a bad thing to do? I don't know. I'm sorry Vilehands. I guess I'm just not a good gamer. But to tell you the truth, you didn't have to rejoin us after the game disconnected. And it kinda sucked because Steve and I were skyping while you had no idea what were saying. Steve considered you as collateral, so I guess that's why you died so many times. I'm sure you were super frustrated, but in the end, wasn't the game just a bunch of fun?
I'm sure you'll look back at this and laugh someday...someday....Vilehand...s.....
-Sincerely,
DamnYouSteve
Comments
Post a Comment