Would You, Could You, Eat A Filet-O-Fish?

Out of all the non-Muslims holidays that come around, my favorite has always been Lent. No, not Easter that comes after or Mardi-Gras that comes before, the actual season of Lent. Those forty days and forty nights that I know mostly nothing about has always held a soft spot in my youth. Maybe it has to do with me knowing that Lent requires Catholics to give up something they love out of devotion to God which is similar to Ramadan - where Muslims give up our daily needs to develop a strong connection to Allah (God). 

 

But really, the main reason I love lent so much (ironically) is two words: Fish sandwiches. More specifically, the Filet-O-Fish (FoF). 

 

Muslims have a few dietary restrictions, aside from avoiding alcohol and pig-based foods, Muslims are also instructed to only eat halal meat. Halal meaning "pure" in Arabic, describes the method that animal is killed. I don't want to delve too deep into the discussion of what constitutes halal meat and what doesn't. To keep a long story short, there are two major Islamic opinions about eating meat in America: Some say it's okay to eat non-certified halal meat since America is technically a Christian country, and others say that we must strive to eat halal-certified meat or find meat alternatives.

 

Halal applies to a lot of things, but it's mainly used when talking about meat. Pork is not Halal, it's Haraam ("Forbidden"). However, something like fish is always Halal, meaning that there is no special circumstances for eating fish. You can buy it anywhere and eat from it without having to worry about if it was killed a certain way or not. Fish is simply just fish.

 

So why is this important when talking about my love for the Filet-O-Fish? Well, my family followed the latter group of Muslims who would only eat beef and poultry if it was certified halal. Growing up in the 90's, there wasn't much in terms of pescatarian cuisine from fast food. You either avoided fast food entirely or spend a good amount of money at sit down restaurants ordering fish and shrimp. There was always an option to get veggie options from fast food burger joints, but those options were utterly lackluster. You can eat only so many grilled cheeses at In-N-Out before they get boring (thought Animal Fries are still pretty good). 

 

Lent is the main reason the Filet-O-Fish and the fast food fish sandwich industry exists. Prior to 1965, people who followed Roman Catholicism couldn't eat meat on Fridays (like any Fridays). This caused a certain Louis M. Groen, a McDonald's franchise in a roman catholic neighborhood of Cincinnati, to create a fish sandwich alternative to help keep his business afloat from his restaurant being dessert don Fridays. Ray Kroc wasn't receptive to the idea of "fish stinking up his restaurants" that he put the Groen sandwich to a contest to the Kroc inspired "Hula Sandwich."

What is a Hula Sandwich you say? It's a slice of pineapple in between two slices of cheese covered by a bun pair. Don't know what Ray Kroc was thinking, but thankfully the Filet-O-Fish won by a landslide. Not sure if I’d be keen on a pineapple sandwich with only cheese on it.

 

The Roman Catholic Church eased back the rules on the no-meat Fridays in 1965. The pope only instructed that this rule should be followed during Lent. However, the sandwich is still available year-round at McDonald's. Other fast food chains have followed suit early on as well as recent years. Popeye's came out with a flounder sandwich recently and it's also pretty bomb. BUT IT'LL NEVER BE A FILET-O-FISH.

 

This is a lot of pretext for a review a sandwich I can eat in three bites. But there is a lot to discuss around the sandwich that helps cement its legacy. Despite the quality of the sandwich and the taste, the Filet-O-Fish has always been my go-to choice for a fast food meal ever since I was kid. During high school, after Friday prayers, my mom would take me to a certain McDonald's that did $1 FoF Fridays. I would eat at least five on the ride back to school. I didn’t exactly have the best food habits but thank God for my fast metabolism! 

 

The main layer of this review is layered under the assumption that the FoF is on sale. Meaning it's either Lent, or you find a golden arch that supports $2 (inflation sucks) FoF Fridays year-round. Please keep this in mind.

 

The real thing...in the flesh

Let’s break this sucker down:

 

The Fish

    The fried square of fish is an invention beyond comprehension. I don’t get why they made it a square, but it definitely helps it stand out. The chicken sandwiches at McDs are somewhat square in shape but don’t have the defining edges of a FoF patty. Some may scoff at a square patty as somewhat unnatural, but I scoff back at them; in this day and age, why judge at the shape of a patty? After all, all patties are man-made. No patty is natural. So take your prejudices elsewhere and get with the program. It’s hip to be square.

    If you took the patty out and ate it, you would most likely be disappointed. While Ronald McDonald does assure us that there really is fish in there (Wild Alaskan Pollock), it’s bland, not really that crispy, and doesn’t really have a great “fish” taste. But the fish patty is perfect for what it needs to be: A soft, gently fried patty that provides a bite to the sandwich. I’d probably give the patty a C- minus in grade.

The Cheese

    I always laugh at the fact that there is only half a slice of cheese in FoF. But sometimes the perfect solution doesn’t always look sexy. The half slice is the perfect for what it needs to be. No, it’s not some special artisan cheese. It wasn’t aged in a barrel somewhere in France for decades. It’s just some good ol’ fashioned processed cheese, man. The beauty is that it’s not like you’re ingested a glob of cheese sauce. It’s just a much-needed added cheesy touch to the sandwich that elevates the flavor. However, alone? The cheese slice is, on its own, laughable. Grade: D.

I had another one to show the beauty that is the FoF...

The Tartar Sauce

    Probably the biggest factor in driving the nostalgia of the FoF. The tartar sauce is the signature and critical component of the FoF. If omitted, the burger is just basically a caloric mess. But when appropriately applied, it becomes the heart of the sandwich. The pickles not only add the perfectly salty/dilly flavor, it also adds a small amount of crunch. I think the creaminess is perfect for what it needs to be. The thing is…this tartar sauce is only designed for FoF. That’s the thing with fast food, each component’s flavor and texture (input) is designed specifically to achieve a specified flavor (output). So instead of focusing on each component and make it the “best,” each component is designed with the over all flavor in mind. The tartar sauce is purposefully over salted to account for the blandness of the patty. I’d give the sauce probably a C? It’s okay, but not the best alone.

The Bun

    The soft pillow-y bun. The squishy, sponge-like, cloud that envelopes the whole sandwich. It’s the perfect vehicle to deliver all the substandard components into your mouth. There’s not much to say. It might not provide flavor but it helps create the aesthetic of the FoF. Perfectly round and allows for all four corners of the sandwich to poke out, giving some dynamic to the presentation. The domes are mostly perfect every time. Yes, I have had wrinkle ones and not-so-perfect ones, but all in all, they are as perfect as can be. Definitely a B when it comes to buns.

 

Now, you may be wondering why I gave such weird ratings after praising each component. But I have previous said many times that the sandwich is a sum of its parts. If any of those components are messed with in any way, it becomes a failure of a sandwich. Especially if there is an omission of tartar sauce. Eating a Filet-O-Fish without tartar sauce tastes like ash in your mouth. Without cheese, the FoF is somehow too salty. Without the fish? Um, no thank you. And without the bun (which is doable), there is nothing to allow your mouth to process the rest of the sandwich.

 

For two dollars, I’d ask anyone to come up with a better tasting sandwich. It’s a hard price point to achieve and yet, McDonald’s definitely delivers. Burger King has tried to achieve their own FoF excellence with the 2 for $5 BK Big Fish (which has actually gotten smaller as time goes on) but has failed miserably.

 

My third one in two weeks., guys....

I urge you to try one. Go out and try them. There might be tie left to get them on their sale (though Easter is already here). Yeah sure, there are better tasting sandwiches out there. But nothing comes close to the balance of FoF.

 

So, while many people will be enjoying the festivities of Easter, I’ll be patiently waiting until next Lent, waiting for the fish sandwich deals to roll in like high tide.